Open Letter to Our Dear Neighbour at 1703 Broadway Avenue S., Saskatoon, Saskatchewan:

Dear Neighbour:

First of all, thank you. Your years of vigilant service to your neighbourhood have gone long unappreciated. We owe you a world of gratitude for the daily, dutiful and rapt attention you commit to preventing the public parking chaos which is sure to unfold without your timely intervention. We live on a difficult street burdened with bus stops, snow clearing and alleyways which cause undue hardship. Had we really considered the dire, troublesome and chaotic street-side parking scenario which has unfolded, we would have never subjected ourselves, let alone, our children, to such horrors. We have you to thank, however, for maintaining some semblance of order amid our unfortunate and disastrous street parking situation. But please, let me be more precise.

First, thank you for advising us when one of our vehicles, or the suspected vehicle of one of our visitors, has been parked on the street for “quite some time” or should be "moved ahead so you can fit in behind". Your undying attention to the placement of our vehicles is very much appreciated. Even more so, we appreciate when you take the time to personally attend at our front step to advise us when we are approaching a violation of the parking bylaws, and/or the accepted neighbourhood rules, which you have so wisely developed and enforced at your leisure. Your rules, which resemble all things good and decent in civil society, are clearly superior to the City of Saskatoon parking bylaws, which are entirely inadequate to stem the parking chaos which plagues our block. I have grave concern, and I, like you, scorn the City's constant failure to provide you immediate aid in the enforcement of your neighborhood-specific parking rules. The City is clearly inept, and has no understanding of the sheer misery and suffering that will undoubtedly result from a vehicle which is parked on the street for "quite some time". Won't someone please think of the children?

Furthermore, we welcome your constant scrutiny of the arrivals to, and departures from our house. Far from being at all creepy and strange, your constant perch at your front screen door and front window provide us a sense of security and comfort, knowing that you keep such careful watch on our home, and the people within. When I get home from a long day at the office, or a long run with my infant child, it warms my heart to find you anxiously waiting to explain to me, in your friendliest tone and nicotine-fesh breath, all the ways in which we’ve wronged you. And you're probably right - this was a really great neighborhood until a developer decided to knock down the house beside you, which should have been condemned 30 years earlier, and built a nice new duplex to improve urban density and attract two young families to the neighbourhood. We all know the kind of shennanigans that young families get up to, what with the sleeping and going for walks, and such. And you know what? I’m not even sure how many people live here anymore, and your concern respecting the composition of our household is certainly warranted – I will undertake a census shortly and forward the results for your review. And you’re right – we have a garage back there, and we really should ensure we never park anywhere but within the garage. Of course, I presume your garage is currently dedicated to a holy, decent  and noble purpose which prevents you from parking your car within it. But, of course, that's none of my business.... unlike my garage, which is rightfully subject to your constant scrutiny.

Frankly, I recognize the dire consequences that would result if you had a visitor or service person arrive by vehicle and one of the two spots, which the City has, so far, failed to dedicate to your name, but which you so rightly deserve, is unavailable. There is absolutely no chance, possibility or reasonable expectation that said vehicle would, or possibly could, park on the corner of 2^nd street, nearly 30 meters away: you would never have a visitor, or find a service person to attend at your home. And, judging by the general absence of visitors and service personnel who've attended your home in the last two years, I suspect you've just been waiting patiently to secure one of the front-situated parking spots in order to invite the numerous guests and servicemen to attend.  Considering your cheery and delightful disposition, I can only imagine the multitude of visitors who await a proper place to rest their rides. And in the mean time, it would certainly be reasonable for you to park out front... until your throngs of guests and service vehicles arrive, of course.

Of course, it is entirely reasonable, right  and understandable that our visitors, our service people, my pregnant wife and my infant child should always park at the corner of 2^nd Street, because, frankly, we just haven’t earned our right to public space as you have, and they should all walk the extra 30 meters to understand your suffering. Don't mind that my infant son can't yet walk - I agree that lazy little guy should really just try harder. Frankly, we hould have known better than to pay a premium price for a new home in an established neighbourhood: we can’t buy the kind of credibility and right that you’ve earned in your 12 year tenure at 1703.

I apologize for all the hurt, physical suffering and mental anguish this parking scenario has caused you. I hope the numerous cigarettes you've ingested on your front porch and your back stoop while waiting for us to return from our jobs, so you can inform us of our most recent violations, provide you some comfort and release. Please accept the enclosed package of Du Mauriers as a small gesture of our thanks for your continuing service to our neighborhood. And please do continue to flick the buts onto our lawn - we really weren't using that space anyway, and it's probably time we introduced our infant boy to cigarettes. I'm sure he will find your buts to be delectable as he crawls about the grass.

We think it is very noble that you choose to dedicate your precious time and effort to such a localized cause like street-front parking control, and the logistics of our household. Homelessness, hunger and poverty are so over-done in this community, and are likely to solve themselves anyway. Your dedication to maintaining order in street front parking is saintly. I couldn't imagine suggesting to you that you find a better way to spend your time and effort - that would be absurd.

With much Love and Appreciation,

The Dubois Family in 1707

IF YOU would like to show your appreciation to our Neighbour, please post her a letter of thanks to: Cathy or Kathy at 1703, Broadway Ave, Saskatoon, SK S7H 2B4.